Be the Hero of Your Story

The stories we tell ourselves

weave a narrative that profoundly shapes our reality.

How you choose to tell your story isn’t just a matter of personal preference—it’s a fundamental factor in how you either move forward or stay stuck. 

Whether you're navigating a career shift, healing from past experiences, or simply striving to be the best version of yourself possible, the way you frame your story is a powerful catalyst for either holding you back or propelling you forward.

This post is a bit longer than usual, but I hope you'll stick with me and capture the gold that will move you from hustle and grind to ease and flow!

Maria was a senior marketing manager at a tech company. 

Despite her impressive experience and skills, she felt stuck in her career and introduced herself to me as someone who wasn’t “creative or innovative enough for leadership roles.”  She cited a few past projects that hadn’t gone as well as planned as evidence of her lack of leadership potential.   

She stated this with all the certainty one would have if they were simply reporting the weather. 

She was just telling me the facts.

Or was she?

Like most things at the Career Planning Studio, we know that there’s both an inner and an outer game we must pay attention to if we want to build exceptional careers. 

The inner game is the foundation. 

Truthfully, it’s 80% of the work. 

It’s what’s below the water line;

Invisible to the eye but as essential as the air we breathe.

• Would you like more EASE and FLOW fueling your work? 
• Want to make space for joy and play? 
• Tired of hustling and grinding it out? 

If so, this post is for you!

As Maria and I worked together, she unearthed a deep-seated and mostly unconscious thought that perhaps she didn’t have what it takes to make it. 

As the daughter of immigrants and the first in her family to go to college, Maria still felt like an outsider in the ranks of corporate America.  Surely, “they” would find out she didn’t belong and she wasn’t good enough.

This realization was hugely significant, but the real game changer was having the courage to speak this aloud and bring it under the microscope of our compassionate attention. 

We began to examine the narrative that was playing on repeat under the surface of her consciousness.

• What was actually true? 
• What else was also true? 
• Was her current narrative (even if true) serving her well?
• Is there a different reality hidden in plain sight?
• How did these thoughts make her feel?
•  What other thoughts could she choose that would make her feel stronger?

You see, your lizard brain is so tricky. 

Its job is to keep you safe (thank you, brain).  It will offer whatever thought necessary to keep you playing small, safe, and secure inside the cave. 

Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a negative review or rude comment and the saber-toothed tiger clawing at the entrance to your cave.

While it was true that Maria was the daughter of immigrants and the first in her family to go to college, it was also true that what she had accomplished was AWE-INSPIRING. 

The overarching theme of not just her career, but her life, was that of an extremely resourceful, smart, and talented woman who knew how to work hard and get things done.

Didn’t these truths deserve equal airtime? 

If both versions are technically true, why not focus on the ones that produce feelings of strength, joy, and confidence?

As Maria shifted the story she was telling about herself, with NO EFFORT AT ALL, confidence emerged.

Did you catch that??

A settled, calm, confidence took up residence in her heart and soul.  

…With ease. 

…With a relaxed nervous system. 

…With a posture of receiving what was hers all along.

A thought doesn’t weigh anything, but it can be so heavy!

No professionally designed resume, snazzy LinkedIn profile, or new power suit can defeat the weight of a heavy thought. 

Maria made a list of the projects where she had demonstrated creativity and innovation.  She saw in a new way the incredible success she had created in her life given where she came from. 

She decided to choose better thoughts. 

She decided to tell a new story. 

Her new story started with, “I have all that I need.  I’m right where I’m supposed to be.  My background actually enhances my ability to see what others miss and this is a strategic advantage.  I have a strong track record of delivering successful marketing strategies and I love creative thinking.”

Maria took on a challenge I give many of my clients which is to self-author the thoughts that keep them grounded in confidence.  When you’re feeling defeated or down, see if you can identify the internal narrative (or thoughts) that are creating those negative feelings. 

For Maria, changing her internal narrative and actively working to support it, not only led to greater confidence, but best of all, it was confidence she was in control of.  She started pitching new ideas with greater assurance and took on a leadership role for a high-profile project with ease she had never experienced before.

There’s a lot we don’t have control over in this world, but one thing we can control is what we choose to think.  We decide the story we’re going to tell.

How you tell your story matters. 

• Does your interpretation of events leave you powerless or discouraged? 
• Or does it call forth the strongest parts of yourself?
• How would your story sound if YOU were the hero of that story?

While the facts or circumstances of your life are what they are, you have multiple options for what you make them mean. 

Why not choose an interpretation that supports you in calling forth your best self?

This work is admittedly hard to do on your own.  You usually can't see your own label from inside your jar. 

If this is something that resonates with you and you'd like to work together to fine-tune your inner game, I hope you'll reach out.  It would be my honor to work with you. 

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To your most confident future!

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